Dear Mr. Terry Crews,
Yesterday, I watched your interview with Lewis Howes and it had a profound impact on me. I then shared the video with several of my close friends who have or had the challenge of a partner with a porn/sex addiction. Two friends reached out this morning stating your interview brought them to tears. One friend sent a text, “Eva, I am only halfway through this video and I’ve been crying the whole time. The pain and suffering that these men go through is excruciating. Thank you for sharing.” My other friend called and we discussed ways that we can continue to deliberately face our own shame and guilt to allow us the freedom to move forward with new endeavors, without the bag of rocks we tend to carry (consciously and unconsciously).
To me, what makes your video so profound is your willingness to be so authentic and raw about your struggles in a very candid way. You moved me when you spoke about your pain, your heartache, AND your absolute 100 percent ownership of past choices, regardless of your “why”. I appreciate how you shared openly on how your choices impacted your relationships. Your willingness to share experiences about your silent addiction for 20 years not only hurt the relationship with your wife, but hurt your relationship with yourself. You bravely walked right into the dark shadow of your soul with so much courage!!! AND … Look at you now … free – or at least, more free than you were before. There is hope for the millions of people stuck in this addiction. You are proof that there is freedom from the lies that held you captive for so long. You are also one of the first men I know to openly reference, Brene Brown …LOVE this!! So, thank you!! Thank you for being a voice and an example of accountability, vulnerability, openness, and love when it comes to porn/sex addiction. Thank you for using your platform and influence as a light. I do not know you or your wife, but she too must be one amazing human being. I honor her and if I could, I would give her a huge hug!
For any of my friends who struggle with sex addiction or have a partner who might, please watch this video. Pornography can become an addiction, a false place to go to cope with the challenges in life. It triggers endorphins, and just like a drug, the user needs more and more to get the fix. For those with religious backgrounds, the shame in this addiction is a silent killer. Men (and women) with this addiction, think they can hide it because they aren’t walking around high or drunk. But this addiction is just as deadly to ones soul, and maybe more so, because it is stealthy. Many believe, “It’s just porn” and this is the biggest lie of all.
There is SOOOOO much shame and guilt for those who look one way on the outside to EVERYONE (even their own families), but are hurting so deeply on the inside. False identities keep us captive from our potential. A lack of real self love can (and if not addressed will) lead to broken homes, broken hearts, and broken dreams. The only way out, is through. The beauty in the pain, is once tackled head on like an athlete would a game, tremendous growth can transpire. We just need the courage to face our own darkness with love … and you have shown us how to do just that.